and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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