if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Randomize
