so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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