Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
