my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Someone signed my nipple.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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