I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
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