i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
