I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
so much tequila, so little girl.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Two words: nipple clamps
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