my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Randomize
