Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
