that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
