We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
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