he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize