I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
