I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
