i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I don't think brook has ever known best
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
