i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
