i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Are my feet made of real feet?
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
