Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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