There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
