Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
