I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
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