I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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