I am puke
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
they need to just BURY HIM!
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
