I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Randomize
