So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
ugly people sure do ruin things
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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