despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
