umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
We just shotgunned beers for America
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
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