doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
