It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
