She's JV to your varsity
he puts the penis in happiness.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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