At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
