no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
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