You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
