Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
