this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
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