im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
