Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
