One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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