We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
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