Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Randomize
