I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
