as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
