I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I can text with my tongue
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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