is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
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