At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
She told me I should be a condom model.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
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