AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
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