would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
