so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
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