I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
