LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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