Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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