i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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