OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
