We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize